The Laughing Gnome

The fledgling David Bowie was so desperate for a hit in 1967 that he was probably quite prepared to wank off an angry bonobo to get even the smallest whiff of chart success.

Worse still, he was actually willing to cut a novelty record called “The Laughing Gnome”, which featured David talking and singing to a squeaky voiced little man who had followed him home from a public convenience. Like each of his previous stabs at recording a smash, though, the disc totally stiffed, and sold to no-one except his immediate family and the mentally ill.

Six years’ later, and, after much grafting, the sudden discovery of his muse, and a little bit of good fortune, David Bowie was quite the thing after the critical and commercial success of “Ziggy Stardust” and its attendent singles. Each of his previous RCA albums re-charted in its wake and new product was feverishly awaited.

At which point, however, someone very naughty at his previous record company decided to dig up “The Laughing Gnome” and throw it at a public desparate for new Bowie stuff, and into the highly embarrassed face of the Thin White Duke himself.

It charted, and became a cult hit on BBC Radio 1’s Saturday morning kiddieprog “Junior Showtime”, where it could often be heard sandwiched between “Sparky, The Magic Piano” and “Grocer Jack”. Poor David.

But that’s not the end of our story. In 1990 Bowie announced that the set listing of each show on his “Sound & Vision” hits tour would be decided in advance by a telephone vote. Inspired by this, the New Musical Express immediately set about coaxing it’s readers to phone the lines and demand “The Laughing Gnome”, which they did.

In their tens of thousands…

I bet he wished he’d tossed that tetchy monkey off after all…