The Emo

What the heck is emo? Well my friend, I'm here to tell you everything you need to know. By the time you get through reading this poorly designed web site, you shall be a stuck up elitist know it all snob just like me! Let's begin:

[What is emo?] [How to dress emo] [How to act emo]

[What is emo?] I can't explain this in my own words so I will just paste information taken from other web sites:

Emo is a type of music. Short for emotional. However, a lot of people have taken it beyond the music and turned it into a way to dress. A lot of old school scenesters (ha ha) get really pissed off at this new "wave" of people that have jumped on the bandwagon and are dressing this way. Eventually the trend will die out but it currently is having its 15 minutes. More info can be found here.

[How to dress emo] This varies depending on where you live and if you are going for the indie emo look, the nerdy emo look or the dressy emo look. I shall go over all 3 from head to toe.

The indie emo look - (best for girls and guys 16-20)

·  Dyed-black short hair with bangs short and cut straight across the forehead. Spikey in the back, slightly greasy. Really light blonde hair on girls often works too.

·  Piercings. The more the better.

·  Jewelry. The more the better. Beads, etc.

·  Horn-rim/thick black frames/cat eye glasses (this works for all three types).

·  Tight, fadded shirts with random slogans. It should look like it could have been bought at a thrift store but you didn't (but you really did). It takes a while to master that one.

·  Dark denim jean jackets.

·  Messenger bag covered in patches and pins (that you actually bought at shows).

·  Tight pants, sometimes cuffed once or twice but never more!

·  Black or blue converse shoes.

 
If you still are a bit clueless, take a look at these. Or this. Another thing you need to be emo can be found here.

Also, to be emo you have to be really skinny. Why do you think so many of them are vegans. If you are not skinny, you have to lose weight before you can officially be emo. How many emo girls do you see walking around with a big tank ass? That's what I thought.

[How to act emo] Now that you know how to dress the part, you must know how to act the part. This is, in my opinion, the most important step of all! Follow my directions closly, because we all know nothing is worse than a poseur and nothing is better than getting scene points!

Before you worry about how you are going to change how you act in "real life", you must change your "internet life" first. Erase your PunkPrincess182 screen name and change it to something a bit sadder. Such as xsadxstarx. If you need help, a handy emo screen name generator can be found here.

With your emo screen name in place, you must type emo. Example:

this.is.an.example.of.typing.emo..this.kind.is.mostly.used.on.websites. &we cant forget about this kind. &thiskindwhichisannoyingasfucktoread. tYpInG LiKe ThIs iS nOt TyPiNg eMo. That's just typing retarded.

Then, put your new typing skills to use by having conversations with other random emo people you've met online. Where do I meet them online you ask? At make out club! But now moc clones are popping up all over the place. We also recommend: lipstick and cigarettes, lipstick party, mad rad hair, not popular and there are probably more we are leaving out. Let us know of any new ones. Anyway, at those sites you will find hundreds of guys and girls showing off their photography skills and name dropping talent. Another good place for meeting other emo people is at different emo bands message boards. Watch out for the poseurs though!

On the message boards, make a name for yourself. Become a "regular". Be sure to tell all the people that list the bands they like that they are not emo enough and that they should go away until they get some real taste in music! If they ask what you like, refuse to tell them. Give them a reason like "you are not worthy enough to step into my music world". Or anything similar.

Now lets change how you act in real life. First, you must go to as many shows as you can! I can not stress that enough. Whether you like the band or not. If you like the band, then you can enjoy it and get scene points! If you don't like the band, you can stand there bitching about how much the band sucks. Then people will come up to you and ask why. You can then talk about how the bands you listen to have so much more talent. Then you get to name drop! Now the fun begins because you can make up band names. However, they should still be very emo so you sound like you know what you are talking about, even though you don't. Go here for some ideas.

[Emo tips] Now that you are emo, I have a few more tips for you:

·  Talk constantly to your non-emo friends about being emo. Each time they ask you what it is, say something different. Make it sound all mysterious and secretive.

·  Try and share your emo music with as many people as you can. Get really angry when they don't like it. Get really mad when they do like it and try to share it with other people.

·  Like meat? Well stop. Being a vegitarian or a vegan is one of the most important requirements of being emo. Find out more here.

·  When eating M&M's, only eat the red ones.

·  Start a livejournal, deadjournal or a diaryland diary. Write in it about all the shows you have gone to and how they have changed your life. Lie if necessary. Be sure and put the song you were listening to at the end of each entry and occasionally post some poems.

·  Remember: the fad of anti-fad.

·  Buy a digital camera and take lots of pictures of yourself. Turn your head as you take them so only your ear or eye or part of your hair shows. Then open them up in photo shop and blur them even more. It makes them look artistic. Taking photos of random objects in black and white also looks artistic. Once you've done that, you can consider yourself an art student.

·  Expect hardcore and straight edge kids to make fun of you. Tell them "your scene is dead!" and run away like the little wuss you are.

·  Join a band or make a new one. You'll suck, but at least you can tell people about it and it might help you get that cute emo girl's e-mail address. Go here for the emo band name rule book. Or if you're really lazy you can use the The Emo Band Name Generator. Another one is here.

·  Find out exactly how emo you are. Or find out your emo mood.