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Inspired by sort-of-actual events.

http://www.myspace.com/starveillance

“This incredible, tiny, goo-covered miracle! I LOVE THIS BABY ! WOOOO!!! Let’s name her L. Ron Spectaculous!” (Tom Cruise)

“Whatever, your dog is fat.” (Paris Hilton)

“It’s such a silly religion anyway.” (Madonna)

“I, David Blaine, will legally marry a tiger.” (David Blaine)

“Call me when you’ve finished proving Higgins Dictum, bitch!” (Nicole Richie)

“I’m Ashley. I’m the creative one because I wear bracelets.” (Ashley Olsen)

“Can’t you bring Starbucks over here?” (Mary-Kate Olsen)

“Shhh! Don’t talk about the kitchen!” (Ashley Olsen)

“Hey Ashley, look at me, I can fit in this drawer!” (Mary-Kate Olsen)

“Call us by our African Name: Brangelina click click” (Angelina Jolie)

“Ashlee, I could never confuse you with Jessica… perfect, silky, hourglass Jessica.” (Mr Simpson)

“You mean tiny monkey helmets?” (Michael Jackson)

“I’m gonna go over here and do butt lifts.” (Jennifer Lopez)

“Diamonds and Trash… I like that name, I thought of it.” (Jennifer Lopez)

“Let me see your stomach!” (Demi Moore)

“That’s right. I’m Shannen Doherty.” (Shannen Doherty)

“Why would you wanna stay with an old mummy like me when you can have a 12 year old?” (Cameron Diaz)

“Throw in the placenta and the amniotic fluid, and we’ve got a deal.” (Catherine Zeta-Jones)

“HEY BRITNEY ! LOOK OVER HERE ! I’M THE STUPID PAPARAZZI ! WITH MY STUPID IDIOT HEAD !” (Britney Spears)

“George Clooney, why don’t you make a family blockbuster, like Jingle All The Way?” (Arnold Schwarzenegger)

“If you become governor, I promise I will make a movie entirely in black and white without a single bankable actor in it.” (George Clooney)

Jennifer Aniston: “I’m so sick of all this media attention.” David Schwimmer: “Tell me about it. I mean, just the other day, I was asked to pose for Cat Fancy ...well, actually it was a supplement to Cat Fancy called Me, Out And About but I know what you mean.”

J-Lo: “It’s prounounced Jiggly. We all know it’s talking about these. Boom boom.” Ben Affleck: “Don’t embarrass yourself honey. It’s Gyglee.”

(About Chris Martin & Gwyneth Paltrow) Glen: “I wonder what they’re up to.” Corey: “Maybe they’re uh…trying to climb the, uhh…Buckingham Palace?” Glen: ’’Yeah, yeah probably…with uh, Elton John, right?” Corey: ’’Yeah, they’re eating tea and crumpets.” Glen: “Yeah…” Corey: “They’re probably in Wimbledon…you know, with John Cleese.” Glen: “And Margaret Thatcher’s dog.” Glen & Corey: “We don’t know much about England.”