Ralph Wiggum

Son of the police chief, Ralph Wiggum isn't the most popular kid in school. Or the brightest. Or the most athletic. His random, dim-witted remarks, however, do make him the funniest. 

Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible.

Ralph: Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!

Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.
Ralph Wiggum: I'm a boy.
Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.

Ralph: [whispering] Lisa, what's the answer to number seven?
Lisa: [whispering] Sorry, Ralph. That would defeat the purpose of testing as a means of student evaluation.
Ralph: [pauses] My cat's name is Mittens

Ralph: That's my swingset, and that's my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. And this is where I met the leprechaun.
Bart: Right, the leprechaun.
Ralph: He told me to burn things.

Ralph: Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.