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Not arbitrary etiquette (e.g. using the correct size spoon for a particular meal), but the social grace not to leave those around you feeling uncomfortable when it is unnecessary.
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This can be difficult at times for those of us who seem to have undiagnosed Asperger syndrome.
Tell me, does anyone know the origin of 'don't put your elbows on the table'? I consider myself a pretty polite fellow, and I'm happy to avoid obvious faux pas like eating with your mouth open (my flatmate is the noisiest eater I've ever met) or interupting people when talking, etc. etc. as they're all grounded in common sense, but who am I offending if I take a bit of a rest at the table by leaning on it?
I wonder how the items in the "You might also like…" are chosen.
PO: I have no idea. It's a bit like 'eating (sic) soup from the side of the spoon' - quite arbitrary. My favourite in such matters is Hong Kong table manners, where the underlying philosophy appears to be "eat as efficiently and as exuberantly as you want until you don't want to eat any more. Just don't pick up food with your fingers."
swissbob: I've been wondering about that too. It seems random so far.
Having said that, a lot of the 'You might also like' items I'm looking at now are linked to me... I'm a bit taken aback to see Te Deum (Hector Berlioz) up there.
Not quite as random as I thought!
How kind, to tell you you might like things you already like.
If you have good manners, you most certainly will like the theremin. Very polite, the theremin. Never eats before you, cleans up after itself, never snores.
I prefer the ondes martenot, NM.
Never speaks out of turn, very deferential.
The elbow rule does make sense, doesn't it? Posture is generally considered a token of respect. You wouldn't lean against a wall when speaking to other persons either - its too casual and thus a disrespectful gesture. Furthermore the elbows denote a claim for this part of the table which is only slightly less annoying than those people that wrap their arms around the plates when eating - as if they want to defend it against theft. Our primates brains consider that aggressive. Which might also be the reason that is is often acceptable to rest your elbows on the table after everyone finished eating.
As my father always says: "Good manners cost nothing."
Perhaps The Hypnotoad inforces good manners? If this is the case, everyone had better be good.
Stephen Fry appears on my list as well.. This I can see.
In my list there's Lt. Columbo. Perhaps as a cautionary tale?
He is fairly courteous, isn't he? Swell guy.
Yes he is. But on the other hand he come back to your room without knocking the door, smoking his malodorous cigars, losing the ashes everywhere. I'm not sure if you would actually like him.
I've just been to the Hypnotoad page.
Perhaps I should stay in more and watch Futurama.
Yup, you almost certainly should!
Belacqua, thanks for that! I can see where it came from now, although I don't think people are too worried about being too casual these days!
I've not seen much. Like Seinfeld, it got shoved around a lot on the terrestrial TV channels here and even vanished completely for a number of years. It's recently re-appeared on digital TV, but I haven't reckoned much to the shows I've seen there.
The Hypnotoad appears to have gone (I nearly said 'hopped off,' but only Hypnofrogs could do that).
Apparently so, NM.
Yeah, Hypnotoad came from Futurama.
Futurama is great, by the way, and worthy of your time. I won't hear a bad word said about it.
Although in reality I actually don't have a choice...
The Hypnotoad wants you to think it's just a character from Futurama.
I just can't stand it when someone doesn't say "please" or "thank you".
Thank you for your comment agentsarah6.
And please do respond again.
Yes, indeed.
not long ago in a restarant we orded a bottle of wine. Now where should this bottle stand on the table? and what should be done with it when its empty and you would like to have a new one. or isnt there any rule for this and you just have to yell at one of the obers?
lolol, does it work too?
i always pretend the bottle is blowing over by the wind. then is say, wow hard wind it blowed the bottle over! it must be empty! (but this is for in a bar with an beer bottle)
I think that's a rather good method, belacqua.
Does anyone else get very much contentment from the sound and feeling of blowing into a bottle? I find it quite calming.
Strangely enough I noticed it to have quite the opposite effect on waiters in restaurants.
Instead of blowing into a bottle, you could always hire a theremin. Or, indeed, an ondes martenot.
Either would bring a waiter hastily forthwith, no question.
May I hire Stephen Fry?
I have this friend that is so disgustin when she eats i wanna slap her…OMG she doesnt close her mouth when she eats and smackS!
i can clearly tell that her parent tought her no manners