Loving Someone Who Cannot Love You in the Same Way

Oh, I know all about this! :(

i feel ur pain peoples! cool pic! yeah im just gunna tell the dude how i feel and walk away, i already kno what hes going to say i just dont want to hear it…

i agree with gbman, even though you know things are not to change, at least you say what you feel and you get that burden off your chest… and in my case it was really good because he let me know he cares about me, only that he can't be with me because… well, cos he doesn't feel the same way as i do… and its nice to see that he cares and is not going to hurt me… and that makes me like him even more, and hate him too… but that's the way things happen sometimes… =(

Gbman: "Cannot"...it's better actually if he "will not" love you back since you know he doesn't really feel the same way rather than being aware that he MAY have feelings for you but certain circumstances and situations will not allow you to love each other freely so you just end up denying your feelings or keeping them bottled up inside. It hurts so much you self-implode most times…I know this very well. It's been going on for years and I had hoped time would heal it but I guess you can't get rid of feelings that strong in just years…

Yanagi-chan- I see what your saying, I have been there too, and it does feel as if you may self-implode. And no, time does not heal all…

It’s really hard because of all the variables involved, I think. For me it’s a combination of “cannot” and “doesn’t” – though the “doesn’t” still doesn’t sit well with me because no proper explanation has ever been given except based on cicumstancial stuff, which would fall under “cannot” imo. Which has made it very hard for me to let go. She inspires me so much and I really miss her.

Okay, okay… I've been thinking, and cannot is a better fit. Will not means that the person themself chooses not to love you the same way as you feel for them. Cannot says that they want to, but for reasons known only to that person, they are unable to.

I know alot about this one. It sucks and it kills me to remember that pain. I hated it. It's a fate worse then death.

I am still in a lot of pain over this.  Wow this has been a cycle for god knows how long.  I am in therapy now and I hope this cycle ends some day.  The strange thing for me is that I do this with people I havent been in a sexual relationship with.  So here it is I am a gay male.  I end up meeting a guy who is gay as well, and we develope a close friendship.  I want more and he is not into me.  I am not an unattractive guy by any means however, I always fall for the ones who dont want me.  I would like to break this cycle but I dont know how.  My therapist tells me I will make different choices when I truly love myself.  I just wish this guy would realize how amazing I am and fall in love with me.  I feel way too old to keep doing this to myself.  Am I totally alone?  I havent met many people who do this to themselves.  God I wish this would just go away.  Thanks for listening.