Hermes

Hermes, the defender of the wickedly clever, the tricksters, and those with an admirable sense of humour.

Also called Mercury, Hermes has a planet (Mercury) and an element (Mercury, or Quicksilver) named after him.

Hermes was born to the god Zeus and the titan’s daughter Maia. As soon as he was born, he sneaked off and stole fifty of his elder brother Apollo’s cows. He sacrificed two of the cows to the Olympian gods and strung their sinews over a turtle shell, creating the first lyre.

Apollo was so angry with Hermes when he finally found out where his fifty best cows had gone that he stormed after Hermes in a rage. He chased his newborn brother all the way up to Mount Olympus, where their father Zeus laughed hysterically as he watched giant, livid Apollo, chasing a tiny babe that was yelling, “I didn’t steal your cows! I don’t even know what a cow is! I’m just tiny newborn babe!”

When Zeus got over his laughter enough, he told Hermes to give back the cows.

But Apollo noticed that two were missing. Before he could start storming at Hermes again, the wee one quickly pulled out his lyre and began to play. Apollo, the god of music, was entranced.

“I must have this instrument!” he pleaded of his little brother.

“Well, alright,” conceded Hermes, “But only if you give me your winged cap and boots.”

“What? Alright, alright, they’re yours.”

“Aaand… your magic cape.”

“What? You little brat! Fine. You can have the cape too.”

“Aaand I want all of your cows.”

“Aargh! Alright, fine! Just give me the lyre!”

“Ok!”

After this day, Hermes never again told a lie, but became an expert at bending and twisting the truth so that it suited his needs.

He became the god of thieves, magicians, storytellers, con artists, and all those who live by their wits. Among his duties were guiding the newly deceased to the underworld and delivering messages between the gods, with which he was aided by his lightning-fast winged shoes, cap, and cape.