Having My Own Library with a Secret Door That Opens When a Certain Book Is Pulled from the Shelf

What’s behind the secret door?

A hidden lair of evil and dark things!

(Okay, so probably more books…)

:)

how about a dinosaur?

That’s pretty cool!

haha, awesome. :D

I’ve always wanted this. Perhaps a Transylvanian Lullabye will mysteriously play from behind it one night..

the only thing to make that better would be if behind the passage held buff mcmuscley men in speedos doing the twist

There is a 150 meters long bar made of a single piece of black marble. Behind the bar a shelf with one bottle of every alcoholic stuff that exist on this planet. 12 beautiful girls work there. And of course only one sit.

Excellent! That’s even better than a revolving toaster oven.

Yes, excellent!! wringing hands Muuuwahahahahahaha! Only I know it’s there, and only I know the secrets that lie within. I can go there when I want to “get away”. I can tell you it’s dark, except for one cobweb covered torch on the wall. Seriously, it’s got a fridge stocked with milk, and a cabinet stocked with oreos, a t.v. and a toilet.

A big secret room in which to keep my porn. Oh Joy! I shall dub the… PORNAPOLUZA !

you have enough porn to fill a room! yay! for you!

I have enough porn to fill a small country…

. . . or porn. Porn works too!! ;)

I’ve always wanted one of those!

Imagine forgetting which ‘book’ to pull…

Ooooh, that could be problematic. Let’s make it a book that we could remember. How about “The Secret?”

It would have to be a book that nobody would ever take off the shelf, so the world’s most boring book. A book where nothing happens of any interest at all. I nominate (and I imagine I’ll get spat on by all Americans for this) Catcher in the Rye.

Fair enough, I was trying to think of a boring book, but I don’t usually seek out boring books. Catcher in the Rye won’t work because:

The novel has become one of the most famous literary works of the 20th century, and a common part of high school curricula in many English-speaking countries, such as the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Australia. Around 250,000 copies are sold each year, with total sales of more than 60 million. The novel was chosen by TIME Magazine as one of the 100 best English-language novels from 1923 to the present. (from Wikipedia)

Try again…

It wasn’t in my school curricula, thank god. To Kill a Mockingbird probably took it’s place, which rocks.

Okay a boring book… how about ‘Living History’ by Hilary Clinton? That’s supposed to be dull dull dull.

Great selection! I knew you’d come through for me. ;)

Nope, that’s no good. It can’t be obviously bad or somebody’s gonna try to pick it up to ask what the hell this book is doing on your shelf. I would select an older book, in fairly good condition, with a rather bland spine containing no title, something the wandering eye tends to just skip over…

Arrrgh!! I have to go, but, as usual MastaKink has a point. That book would look out of place on my bookshelf, actually it would totally stand out like a sore thumb.

Damnit, that is a good point. Okay, so we may have to get cunning. How about having two versions of the same book, perhaps a 2nd edition, or an abridged version, so that people would only ever go for one version. Then you could have reason for having 2 copies and no-one would ever know!

I got it! The bookend. That will be the door trigger.

No, unfortunately to make it look realistic it’ll have to be a full bookcase, with no need for bookends. Also if someone took another book off the shelf they may try to move the bookend to hide the gap, thus opening the door.

Crap on a crutch! This will require more thought…

BTW, I predict that this subject will reach page two...

Somewere behind the books is a little red button

Hmmmmm… I’ve got it!! This is great, have a magic command, like, Ummmmm… “Open Sesame” Hey it worked for Ali Baba!! *Muwahahahahaha!”

Either that or have a remote control opener.

(I’ve got more… )

I thought about the remote… just another thing I would misplace.

You could keep it on your keychain. Wait, don’t tell me…

Nose

...well you can’t lose that!!

no I mean you hit it right on the…

“Eureka!”

No no no! You can’t have a button on your keychain! People will see it and go “Ooh, what does that do?”.

Besides, the item is a library with a secret door that opens when a certain book is pulled from the shelf.

We must find a book; keep thinking!

You’re right, you’re right!! So, it has to be a book that noone will want to read, and it has to be a book that will not stand out. MastaKink is heading the right way with the older book with nothing written on the spine, however, I think someone would pick that book up just to see what it was. How about “Study and treatment of open, weeping infectious wounds” I-I wouldn’t want to touch that book.

Oooh ooh, I like your thinking! How about ‘A collection of pressed flowers containing deadly viruses’?

Mind you, people may run a mile thinking we’re nuts, but our secret is still safe!

Great book idea! This is fun. How ‘bout “My scrapbook of discarded band-aids and used gauze” You know what… Let them run!! As they fall over themselves trying to put as much distance between themselves and us. We still have the secret room; which will still be safe, and undiscovered!!

that lost me!!!

I guess we have to try it out!

Why don't we keep it with one book, and on a certain page have it hooked up wirelessly to a computer that does a retina scan when you turn to a certain page, this way if someone other than you picks it up, nothing happens. Problem solved.

Who sells your drugs - I want some

Drugs? Who needs drugs? I'm nutty enough without them…

Drugs?Wwhat exactly are we talkin' about now?Keepin' drugs in the secret chamber behind that secret door?

Waaaa! hee-hee! Brrrrrrr-chee-chee-boom!

Sorry, mad as a what? I didn't hear you over the noise.

Haa_{Everyone here's crazy!N i love it}