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Fmylife.com

Created by JordanElizabeth. Last Edited by JordanElizabeth. Tagged as: Humor
Fmylife.com

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E l i t e
E l i t e posted 6 months ago

"Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML"

 

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HelloCarm20
HelloCarm20 posted 6 months ago
"Today, I took a bath with what I thought was my waterproof vibrator. It wasn't. Apparently my boyfriend found me passed out in the tub from an electric shock with my vibrator floating next to me. He refused to call a doctor and insisted on interrogating me about what he's doing wrong in bed. FML"