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Chuck Norris

Created by ChuckNoritz. Last Edited by gbman. Tagged as: Humor, People
Chuck Norris
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<h2>Chuck Norris Facts</h2>

-Every night before he goes to bed, the boogieman checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

-Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. Nobody fools Chuck Norris.

-Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now the Islands.

-Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

-Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

-Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who can appreciate irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

The day Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won’t be because he is gay. It will be because he has simply run out of women.

Chuck Norris Trivia:

  • Campaigned for George Bush in the 1988 U.S. elections.
  • Eldest of three sons born to Ray and Wilma Norris. Chuck's brothers are Wieland Norris (born July 12, 1943; KIA in Vietnam, 1970) and Aaron Norris. Aaron is the youngest of the trio, the proverbial "runt of the litter."
  • Father of Mike Norris and Eric Norris, the latter of whom is a professional stock car driver. Chuck also has a daughter named Dina, born in 1964. Diane Holechek is the mother of Chuck's aforementioned kids; of those three, Dina is the only one not mentioned in Chuck's 1980's autobiography, "The Secret Of Inner Strength: My Story." More recently, Chuck and Gena O'Kelly (his second wife) welcomed opposite-sex twins Dakota Alan (the boy) and Danilee Kelly (the girl). The twins' birthday is August 30, 2001.
  • Often trained with Bruce Lee.
  • 6-time World Karate Champion; among those he faced for this title are fellow actors Joe Lewis and Steve Sanders.
  • He was the karate teacher of father-son actors Steve McQueen and Chad McQueen. The elder McQueen encouraged Norris to pursue a career in movies and television; allegedly, he told Chuck: "If you can't do anything else, there's always acting."
  • Received "Veteran of the Year 2001" honor at the 6th Annual 'American Veteran Awards'. [12 December 2000]
  • In the movies where he's a police officer, Norris usually prefers to work alone (i.e. Lone Wolf McQuade (1983), Code of Silence (1985) and Top Dog (1995)).
  • Has 3 grandchildren by son Eric Norris; these include fellow actress Gabby Di Ciolli.
  • He has founded two of his own martial arts: Chun Kuk Do ("the Universal Way") and American Tang Soo Do.
  • He is the Founder of the National Tang-Soo-Do Congress (NTC) and the United Fighting Arts Federation (UFAF). Chuck is also President of the latter.
  • Founder of National Tang Soo Do Congress (NTC).
  • He has a 10th degree black belt in Tang Soo Do, and also an 8th degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do...that is, the Korean (or traditional) styles of each.
  • His father Ray was killed in a car accident, shortly after cancer surgery. Part of Ray's throat and chin were removed; a tube was inserted in his trachea to help him breathe. Ray was thrown out of his car in the wreck, and the tube came out. Ray suffocated on the ground because no one at the accident site was aware of the tube.
  • His voice and drama coach was Jonathan Harris, of "Lost in Space" (1965) fame. Harris "taught him how to speak," by putting his fingers in Norris's mouth, and stretching the mouth wide open. He names Jonathan as the only man in the world who could get away with doing that to him...a fact Jonathan was always proud of.
  • Having worked for years as a martial-arts instructor (giving both public and private lessons), he was offered the role of "Sensei Jon Kreese" in the original The Karate Kid (1984). He turned it down, claiming he did not want his name connected with such a brutal and vicious character.
  • Despite their vast political differences, he is friends with actress and comedienne Whoopi Goldberg. He was so impressed with a performance of hers that he tried, unsuccessfully, to get her a role in his film Invasion U.S.A. (1985).
  • Reader's Digest once noted a story of how Norris, true to his characters, prefers to find a non-violent way to solve a situation. Norris was in a bar once when a customer walked in and said to him, "You're in my seat. Move." Norris complied, and as the customer sat down, he recognized Norris. He then said, "Chuck, you could've kicked my butt if you wanted to. Instead of moving, why didn't you just attack me?" Norris' response: "What would that have accomplished?" Norris later said the experience resulted in him getting a new admirer and a new friend.
  • He has 5 children, 3 from first wife Dianne Holechek; Mike (b. 1962), Dina (b. 1964), and Eric (b. 1965) and 2 from second wife Gina O'Kelley; twins Dakota Alan and Danilee Kelly (b. 2001).
  • Is a Black Belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu under the Machado Brothers.
  • As a child, his idol and favorite actor was John Wayne, Indeed, their on screen personas bear much in common. Both achieved their highest level of fame playing no nonsense good guys who were uncorruptable and did whatever it took to "take the trash out" and make sure that justice was served and that the bad guys got what they deserved.
  • Supporter of the US Republican Party.
  •  

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    Comments

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     Prev 1 2 Next
    redflux
    redflux posted over 2 years ago

    Chuck is a dweeb! I’d kick his ass any day.

    JamesKane
    JamesKane posted over 2 years ago

    chuck is one of the many of my gods :P

    gendo
    gendo posted about 1 year ago

    So now we have to put up with this wonderful site being polluted with this fifth-hand lame arse piece of regurgitated email spam.

    ChuckNoritz
    ChuckNoritz posted about 1 year ago

    Who in the hell added this guy to everything?!

    willow
    willow posted about 1 year ago

    chuck norris is godlike ;-)

    Tiger6
    Tiger6 posted about 1 year ago

    And of course he is a much better christian than Jesus cause he kicks ass!

    sepalot
    sepalot posted about 1 year ago

    If chuck norris jumps into the water, Cuck norris deosn´t get wet, but the water gets Chuck Norris.

    KarstenTS
    KarstenTS posted about 1 year ago

    Chuck Norris counted to infinity… twice! And he can also devide by zero.

    sepalot
    sepalot posted about 1 year ago

    If chuck goes to sleep he doesn´t but his lights of, but it´s not because he´s afraid of the dark, it´s because the dark is afraid of him! You know?

    knightfall
    knightfall posted about 1 year ago

    Chuck Norris is so overrated on this site, it starts to be really annoying!!

    knightfall
    knightfall posted about 1 year ago

    David Hasselhoff invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Chuck Norris invented pink.

    celticsaint
    celticsaint posted about 1 year ago

    chuck norris does not do pushups. he pushes the earth down.

    anyone else know the song by lemon demon? The ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny. awesome song. chuck norris is in it..poor indiana jones…(and no that wasnt a random statement, listen to the song)

    sinuca
    sinuca posted about 1 year ago

    chuck norris é o cara mais foda do universo!

    sinuca
    sinuca posted about 1 year ago

    chuck norris é o cara mais foda do universo!

    liyo
    liyo posted about 1 year ago

    Chuck is ALL !!

    spazzymcgee
    spazzymcgee posted about 1 year ago

    Chuck is god, chuck norris went to the virgin islands they’re now just called the islands

    FearFactory1189
    FearFactory1189 posted about 1 year ago

    I share chuck with a friend…thats what makes him so great.

    Kuhkatze
    Kuhkatze posted about 1 year ago

    Chuck sucks!

    johannes
    johannes posted about 1 year ago

    Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door!

    kevinchai
    kevinchai posted about 1 year ago

    Bruce Lee defeated Chuck Norris.

    erv2
    erv2 posted about 1 year ago

    Chuck Noris doesn’t talk, he thinks and you’ll hear.

    erv2
    erv2 posted about 1 year ago

    Chuck Norris does not chew, he melts food in the mouth.

    Chuck Norris does not walk, the earth moves. when he wants to run, the earth moves faster.

    mattius1989
    mattius1989 posted about 1 year ago

    Chuck Norris’ tears are a cure for cancer. But cancer lives on as Chuck has never cried.

    Vano
    Vano posted about 1 year ago

    There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

    jaquio
    jaquio posted about 1 year ago

    the CN thing its funny.. but the guy itslef perhaps it not a bad person, support W so… well it cant be so powerfull :P

    eagle-mania
    eagle-mania posted about 1 year ago

    he is not god or whatsoever but he is very good

    Vano
    Vano posted about 1 year ago

    If the last two posts could explain exactly what they’re talking about, I’d appreciate it. I’m slightly confused.

    MeansDarling
    MeansDarling posted about 1 year ago

    lol, the best fake hero.

    Livieri
    Livieri posted about 1 year ago

    Chuck Norris is my right-hand buddy

    1746309
    1746309 posted about 1 year ago

    EVILLLLLLLLLLLL MAN i sometimes get nightmares of him at night. >:(

    Grasssman20
    Grasssman20 posted about 1 year ago

    Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

    sfgfan10
    sfgfan10 posted about 1 year ago

    I’m sorry, but Johny Depp doesn’t roundhouse kick people in the face.

    MastaKink
    MastaKink posted about 1 year ago

    ahahhahahhahahaha… chuck norris likes to knit sweaters in his spare time. and by “knit”, i mean “kick”, and by “sweaters”, i mean “babies”.

    emoxrocker
    emoxrocker posted about 1 year ago

    He can do ANYHTING .

    Hideous Monster
    Hideous Monster posted about 1 year ago

    There are three types of people in this world: Chuck Norris, cowards, and corpses.

    gbman
    gbman posted about 1 year ago

    To anybody who dares say anything negative about Chuck Norris, be warned- He has heard your comments, and at this moment is planning your downfall. Chuck is the man!!!

    “When Chuck Norris enters a room he doesn’t turn the light on, he turns the darkness off!!”

    XLolaBabyX
    XLolaBabyX posted about 1 year ago

    Who is Chuck Norris? Never heard of the man. Only joking, sadly I do know who he is.

    Ramong
    Ramong posted about 1 year ago

    are you guys damn serious? suck norris? gimme a break. this guy had his ass kicked by bruce lee. that makes it even possible that he can get his ass kicked by jackie chan. and even more possible to get his ass kicked and shot in the kneecaps by jack bauer.

    Ezanee
    Ezanee posted about 1 year ago

    Or even, possibly, to get his ass groped by Ahnold the Governator..

    bla_bla
    bla_bla posted about 1 year ago

    once a month, chuck norris secretly sleeps with every women in the world..

    ... they bleed for a week as the result

    Hideous Monster
    Hideous Monster posted about 1 year ago

    Yep… that’s the best one I’ve ever come across.

    lyddo
    lyddo posted about 1 year ago

    it was not moses who turned that ocean to blood. it was chuck norris

    Marisa
    Marisa posted about 1 year ago

    Chuck Norris once invited all the other badasses from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme badass. Only two showed up – Jack Bauer and MacGyver. MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly thew up his own heart. Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer’s arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.

    Also, Chuck Norris is pissed that SpellCheck doesn’t recognise the spelling of “Norris”.

    SpellCheck: you have been warned…

    Vano
    Vano posted about 1 year ago

    Moses made the ocean blood? That is such a lie! Oh my God! What-ever.

    rikkuzack
    rikkuzack posted about 1 year ago

    Gross. Chuck is such a loser

    dumbbrunette
    dumbbrunette posted 12 months ago

    Are you people serious, the texas ranger??? the best actor???? I think not!

    gbman
    gbman posted 12 months ago

    Steph, I direct you to my comment of a month ago…

    dumbbrunette
    dumbbrunette posted 12 months ago
    Thanks *hahaha* for the *hehehe* warning *bursts out in laughter*
    gbman
    gbman posted 12 months ago
    Go ahead mock me, laugh it up Yell, but when you feel a roundhouse kick while you sleep... Don't say you weren't warned.
    dumbbrunette
    dumbbrunette posted 12 months ago
    Seriously though what can you like about the guy? *hehehe* (last laugh I swear)
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