Boudewijn Zenden

Lank-haired Liverpool bench-warmer Boudewijn Zenden hasn’t had much to write home about since he left Middlesbrough to further his career at Anfield. Sadly, he’s had a string of injuries and his appearances have been limited to a few largely anonymous run-outs, such as cup-ties against Luton, The Charity Shield, carpet warehouse tv adverts etc.

Still, he can take pride in the fact that his first name, Boudweijn, is, officially, the most difficult word in the universe to pronounce. Even people from Rotterdam simply can’t be bothered to get it right.

What’s worse is that he uses his nickname, “Bolo” (officially the most stupid nickname in history, completing a unique and sad double for Zenden) in England to ensure that the Alan Greens of this world have one less thing to moan about during their match commentaries.