Barry Zuckercorn

Barry Zuckercorn – He’s Very Good.

“Your honor, I haven’t read the plea…it’s very long. But I’ll start right now!”

“Well, if you want to play Eve, you got to get in line behind what, above five homos. That was wrong. I – I am so sorry. It’s just that I have one down at the office now, and I mean it is every day.”

Barry: So, basically, you’re about 2,000 shares short of being the majority stockholders. Now, unfortunately, it’s a private stock, so you cannot just buy up the shares unless someone is willing to sell. Michael: Are you sure? Barry: That’s what they said on “Ask Jeeves.”

Barry: I got Michael out of his marriage, didn’t I? Michael: Actually she died. Barry: You’re kidding me. I’ve been taking credit for that for years. Michael: Credit?

Barry: Do you want to read it? Michael: No, it is thick. Why don’t we just take it? Barry: I could kiss you on the (bleep). Michael: Yeah, well – what?

Barry: Hey, don’t get too close to me…I got this itch that’s out this world…I think something layed eggs on me… Michael: Thanks for the heads up.

Barry: And you don’t want to go in front of that judge. I caught him in a drag club. G.O.B.: What were you doing there? Barry: Wow…you should be the lawyer.